See that boy doing his homework in homeroom? ... He couldn't do it last night because he was too busy talking his best friend out of suicide. See that girl, with her face caked in make up? ... She's bullied, she needs to feel beautiful. See him, the one who wears long sleeves everyday? ... He covers his arms to hide the scars. See her, with the cheap, hand-me-down clothes? ... Her family can't afford food for half the month, let alone get brand names. See the girl who laughs and smiles at every little thing? ... She cries herself to sleep every night. Wonder why she never lets her friends over her house? ... Because she's afraid they'll see her dad passed out drunk on the floor, as always. See how that girl cringes as rape jokes? ... She was raped. See the boy who everyone goes to for advice? ... He wishes someone would do the same for him. See the girl who never brings a lunch? ... She's disgusted by her body. See her, with the little waist? ... She goes to the bathroom and forces herself to throw up so that she can keep her waist that way. See the boy over there, see the dark circles under his eyes? ... He has insomnia, he fears what he'll see in his dreams. See that girl daydreaming over there? ... She has schizophrenia. See the boy biting his nails? ... He has cancer and he's wondering how much time he has left. See your best friend? ... She's addicted to drugs, but she can't tell you because you wont understand. See that boy reading all about 9/11? ... His parents died on that day. See her, with her phone on her at all times? ... She's waiting for a call saying her sister was found after a kidnapping 4 years ago. Don't judge.
conversation between a friend and i about being a writer:
idek when we had this conversation..but this is who i am…
[4:10:18 PM] Ashley: it started a while ago… [4:10:25 PM] Ashley: writing does a lot for me… [4:10:41 PM] Ashley: so i can never write about something that hasn’t happened… [4:10:51 PM] Ashley: it’s about aaron…thats how i move on… [4:11:07 PM] Walt: huh. o so its just like a long ass diary [4:11:10 PM] Walt: ? [4:11:10 PM] Ashley: i write it down, finish the story, close the book and move on… [4:11:15 PM] Ashley: no..not really. i’ve chnaged a lot. [4:11:34 PM] Ashley: but some things in the story line are very similar… [4:11:58 PM] Ashley: like some of my characters are real people, some of things that have happend are real…but a lot of it is fake to give more depth to the story… [4:12:52 PM] Ashley: ..like…the main character is audrey…the life she has is kinda the life i wish i had… [4:13:02 PM] Ashley: she’s very free… [4:13:30 PM] Ashley: except there is a twist, a thing that’s happened to her, that changes her but makes her stronger… [4:13:36 PM] Ashley: and both of her parents die.. [4:13:46 PM] Ashley: of course i don’t want that… [4:14:19 PM] Ashley: but hardships that people can over come sell books..they also encourage people in real life who go through a lot as well… [4:15:09 PM] Ashley: there are always those closet kids who find something and need some encouragement because they have a bad homelife, or they got raped, or they just simply don’t have friends…and if my words can touch someone…well then i’ve done my job…
Bailey: “…I prep my surgical field with soap and water, I keep my surgical field the way GOD made it. I don’t need to be waxin it smooth so that it can be mistake for the surgical field of a five year old girl. I am a woman, a woman who is meant to have something ON her surgical field…and if a man can’t deal with a little something on the surgical field, a little nature, a lil God, then that man has no business gettin’ NEAR MY surgical field…”
Callie: “Fineee! I’m not putting a gun to your head, let freedom ring!!”
john stewart: “did you guys know intelligence was never perfect?” rumsfeld: “oh my goodness, yes!” john stewart: “i feel like we’re just sitting on a porch now sipping lemonade.” rumsfeld: “i said what i shouldn’t have said…” stewart: “gee willikers! let me say this…” rumsfeld: “…he makes fun of the way i talk, but there are a lot of people in the heartland of America that talk the like i do…maybe not on the coast, but…in the heartland they do..” stewart: “yes, on the coast we just curse and have gay sex. that’s all we do. just run around, cursing, and gay sexing each other.”
To all of my friends, followers, family members, and loves:
Today God truly spoke to me; more than I’ve ever heard in my entire life. As I had a short visit with my aunt in ICU at the hospital after her intense 10 hour surgery, God grabbed me by the heart through a delusional recovering (and dare I say, in remission) cancer patient. As she soothed my mind and rubbed and squeezed my hand and in between the “I love you’s” and the “Praise God’s”, she told me that this is how we (our family) has to tell our story. We have to continue to witness to people and tell them of our incredibly intense, scary, amazing journey and how wonderfully the story has progressed and how God, the All Mighty, was the miracle worker who made it all possible. Abba Father told me that forgiveness is key in a world full of anger and hatred and that we’re all only human. He told me that He is the Miracle Worker, Almighty, Bright Morning Star, Father, Gentle Whisper, Hope, Jehovah and I AM. Only once in my life have I ever had such everlasting FAITH in the Messiah than I do now. I know that some stories don’t end happily, and I know that this is not the end so this may not be where it stops. Our story is progressing and evolving, but God is the Mighty One and He will bring you comfort in your time of need, desire, loneliness, sadness, despair and weakness. If your story didn’t/doesn’t have a happy ending, and I’m not saying mine does but I am comforted by God’s amazing Love, then try it out. Say a prayer, call His name, sing His praise…God will comfort you if you surrender all.
i carry your heart with me(i carry it in my heart)i am never without it(anywhere i go you go,my dear; and whatever is done by only me is your doing,my darling) i fear no fate(for you are my fate,my sweet)i want no world(for beautiful you are my world,my true) and it’s you are whatever a moon has always meant and whatever a sun will always sing is you
here is the deepest secret nobody knows (here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud and the sky of the sky of a tree called life;which grows higher than the soul can hope or mind can hide) and this is the wonder that’s keeping the stars apart